the Grass's always Greener...

on the Other Side. Ever since I've left NY, I've had this misconception to think that my NY Friends are having the time of their Life (I hope they do) while I lay here in Misery. This black & white thought can only last for so long... well, it's been long enough. There are things I'm thankful for since my return to ColdLand (though it is now warm). My life's more stable. I don't believe it myself, I have a routine, a tight schedule even. Wouldn't want it for ever, yet it is a worthy new experience. Makes things more predictible which is fine for now. I've had enough unexpected "surprises" for awhile anyways. Besides, it's also refreshing to know that your life won't be altered from one day to next cause of some external event you cannot control. Makes me feel safer and more powerful. Don't get me wrong, I do not particularly enjoy being here (motivation issues, mind's elsewhere). I struggle getting use to the surroundings, people's mentality vs mine. I keep reminding myself that this is only temporary and once I'll be done with what I came here to do, I will have plenty of opportunities to go wherever I want. But until then, my life's here and I ought to learn to make the best of it. I believe I can. I want to... Past & Memories are part of my Present. I want to befriend these Antagonists so my Life here may be Greener.