the Life of a Caring Man Forever Changed

tonight my patient died. I am home calm and serene. I think of my patient dying, my supervisor telling the family about her slowly going away and her husband breaking down... "We were gardening when it happened" he said... "I've lived with her my entire life" he also said... I cannot help but think of this man. A good man, a loving husband who loved his wife. Three days ago he was gardening with her and now what? How will he be tonight alone in a bed that still holds her smell? Can he breath without her? There is something about death that makes you feel really grounded. You can be unsecure, heartbroken, sad, depressed, yet you're alive... I feel strangely peaceful tonight. My Patient died tonight. May She Rest in Peace.

Needle Night

Tonight I did my first injection ever... The idea of doing so's always been surreal. Inserting a needle in someone's body seems violent and sadistic. I was scared, curious and intrigued by doing it and therefore couldn't wait to do it. I had these scenarios where I'd freeze or blow the vein... I was calm, in control and things went drama free (damn!)... My collegue dropped me off at the subway but I thought I'd walk instead. It's a beautiful night out! I'm sleep deprived, worked for 10 hours at the hospital and have faced many challenges... And now the Rain... The sky's shouting needles on us... A soothing transparent fluid's falling freely on my face...