Bunny in Wonderland or Bad Trippin' on Valerian

Back Home from the Psychology Final Test ("Psycho" is how I call this class), I took a triple dose of Valerian. I thought I deserved a Break from this Mascarade called School... I wanted to Sink and Never Wake Up again... Well I eventually woke up, but only after a good 15 hours of solid sleep. In the Midst of my Nocturnal Journey, I clearly felt a Shift. My Parasympathetic Nervous System took over. I Sank. Everything became Calm, Quiet and Silent. My Cells were elegantly floating in the Deep. They could have been the Protagonists in "The Blue Planet". I also had the most Vivid Dream. There was this Adorable cartoonish Bunny Strangling this Adorably cartoonish Dog. They both looked so Cute and Lovable. I couldn't Stop starring at Them. They looked incredibly so Believable. All I wanted to do is Hug these little Ones. I was feelin' such lovy dovy Sympathy for these Creatures and thinkin' that after all, Life's beautiful. I could be Them, They could be Me. We were One. Exactly Then, I heard The Cracking. The Adorable Cartoonish Dog's Head fell on its Side. All I can remember after this is Everything becoming Grey. My surrounding, My Mind... Everything's Colorless and Estranged... End of a Dream

Reminiscence

I come back from the post office and got the summer box I asked my mom to send. Clothing and shoes. Only the ninth of what I truly own... though I'm psyched. As I unpack, memories & smells come up... L'odeur alcaline, sulfureuse du garage de mes parents. Le garage ou enfant, j'ai passe des heures a construire des maisons en bois pour les oiseaux ou mes playmobils. Cet ete en famille... L'importance de cet ete en famille. Justement, cet été, en regardant mes photos d'enfance, j'ai réalisé l'impact des vêtements sur ma mémoire. J'avais 4, 7, 9 ans et la vue du pull/pantalon/pj/bottes me ramène clairement a un attachement particulier pour telles ou telles étoffes et ce faisant, ces dernières me guident vers des souvenirs. Chaque bout de tissu a son histoire. Pendant que je les redécouvre un a un, ces derniers me renvoient dans le passe vitesse grand V. Il y a l'imper rouge, déniche au rayon enfant, avec qui j'ai tant couru sous la pluie pour rattraper le temps. Il y a les deux robes préférées de l'homme que j'ai tant aime (merde, j'ai pas le sac qui va avec). Le shirt noir décolleté qui m'a accompagne dans Les soirées. Les fringues "casual" avec touche perso pour le resto, ajout de mordant pour le bar. Hommage a mes fripes qui entrent dans ma vie avec leur vécu et mystère. Netherless to say, my Last Summer Box is a sheer reflection of The Way to Wear. I need to dedicate another blog for shoes only.

Dalton's Law

I kept telling this Girl at school she shouldn't feel Displeased with her 9 Extra Pounds since truly, I find her Perfect the way She Is. Besides I hate to see a Girl struggle with her Self-Image. We're Women = our Weight Fluctuates. I've Gained Weight. So much that my Friends Don't Notice at All... I don't Get in my "hard to fit" Pant though = Indeniable Sign not to say Proof. Causes: my New Sedentary Life a.k.a. school/Awful montreal Winter (all my Cells want is Save Fat Supply for the Upcoming Snow Storm)/and last but not least, I no longer Run the Streets of NY. I don't even have a decent Mirror to check Myself out. The only Indications I have is this Inner bloated Feeling I Carry around and my Pair of Pants. I'm not the Type to Compromise on Food but I won't Compromise on Feeling Fit and Active either...I Want to Be In my Body Not Trapped in it. Think I found a Remedy though. This Dude is Fixing my New Bike. Her and I will Go a long Way I can Tell. Also Reminds me that when I feel Fullfilled I never have weight Problems... Don't even have to Think of it... Damn!

I've won a Battle

Yet not the War. I'm glad we got to Talk. It was Casual... Casual ain't a bad thing after all. Why always digging into the Core... I love my Persona. With no Shame I think of myself as Cute, Adorable, Caring, Funny, etc. But they are days I wish I'd be less Intense. Dude, you don't always need to create Moments. The good part though is that my Life's never been Lame. As for Now, I've put myself in a Setting that could be Boring as Hell, yet I still find Ways of being Entertained, Amused, Touched... On the other hand, as cliche as it sounds, Letting things Be instead of Creating Meaning/Drama can be quite a Relief. I don't believe much in change (rather Redemption). I instead look at my Traits from a different Perspective. I will always be the Expensive Girl looking for Meanings and Depths in Single Details. To me, Life's a Succession of Details. I am not Light and that's O.K. I think though that it ain't a Bad Idea to Relax and Let it Be... All That to say: Casual or Not, I Hope We'll get to Talk More, that's All.

Uncle Sam's Rejection

looks like I've been 86ed... Shame, Shame, Shame. Whenever I don't get what I want, I think that all I have to do is Fix it. And then, it'll all be Good. Whenever I don't get what I want, I think it must be because I didn't go all the Way or I didn't make my Point clear enough. I mean if I feel something's Right it is because it Is Right. I am Stubborn that way and Determined too. This isn't about me having a Tantrum or being Capricious. Really, what we had was Organic, it Flowed. It was Special. All I want is to move along with it... even from a Distance. Distance offers the illusion that We can still Tango. From Apart, the dance might still seem balanced. How to Fix something that's Broken, broken even after many repears?... AI haven't given up just yet...

Tea Time should be Mandatory

Things have been pretty Harsh since I moved in Montreal. I'm not Adapting to the Environment. Not at all. Though I've been doing Great considering... I finally got my Place, an alright Basement. Strange for a Girl use to live on Top floors. I hear people Stepping on Me. It's alright, I have a Place. I feel like a Rat, Underground but Safe and Extra Resistant. Nope, that would be a Cockroach. In any case, I now have a Place to Welcome my NY Friends. Two of Them are Coming soon, I'm excited. My Life's never been so Calm. As Sandrine told me once: a Detox of Intensity is what You Seriously need. Well that's what I've been Experiencing the past months: Withdrawal. I've been Tempted a Few Times to Act Out and Regress looking for Cheap Thrills but didn't Go for it as that's no longer what my Body & Mind want. Never say Never but so Far so Good. I Stick to the Simple Pleasures of Life such as Tea. Bought 7 Kinds today. Tried them All. Now that's intense. Well, so much for Detox. Never Underestimate the Power of Tea. Noble Women: whether you are a Songstress, a Loner, a Poetess, Tea's the Remedy.