1st day Psych

Today was my first day at school. Brand new semester, brand new subject: psychiatry. The professor opened up with a not so typical "why are you here in the first place" question (nobody usually gives a damn about your sudden vocation into the noble nursin' field). So while most people were going on on how great their desire to serve and make a difference is, I was trying to come up with a diplomatic yet honest answer cause spontaneous me would have plainly said : "well this is my NY return ticket". Forced to admit this teacher got me. By the end of the class, I was under the charm. I think this semester's gonna be good. Gotta to lay low though cause my genuine interst for anything mental related made me eagerly jump in whenever the ways of the mind came to the surface. Got also to watch my back cause next thing you know I'll accidentally use "I" while mentionning the darkness of the soul and jeopardize my politically correct school behavior. Not really want this insightful teacher to guess how many times I thought of tearing up my skin as a kid. The professor said wanting to die's more about wanting to kill the pain, abort the hurt than to really die. She then connected the subject with attachment which striked a cord: This ultimate goal to move back to NY is attachment. attachment=holding on to amazing moments now gone and wanting to recreate them cause that's where being felt good. The intent's all legite except that when attached, you're stucked, when stucked, you're not moving forward therefore you die slowly cause zero progression means regression. This week off tought me that there's a life here, that I'm alive even when I think I'm not. That I'm still me everywhere and can reinvente myself now. It is not NY I need to get back to, it is me.